Speedwriting - Mouse by A Kypie Friend…
There once was a mouse and it infiltrated my house. It came with its scooter zooming all over the ground. It takes over the house at night hovering up the fajita crusts and swimming in the wine and Parmesan.
Could it make it up to my room? Surely it would be a mountainous climb but the thought of it scuttling across my face like poor Sophie N with her holiday fling. I wonder what would happen if it went up my trousers. In the morning it’s necessary to do a stamp stamp clap clap to show the house who’s back. Just have to hope they don’t breed a brave one. They probably looked on us as we murdered their relative and let it squeal to death.
The rest are very clever though lasting years of traps that we ourselves have fallen into with balls of glued up carpet on Ugg boots making a Velcro noise everywhere I tread.
Do they live in the holes in the sofa? And could they come up with the remote? Surely at this time of year they should be out with their pals running in the fields not terrorizing poor paupers. Time for new traps – but which are the best snap and track glue to your shoe or hide in a box. I wonder which they prefer, probably a snap in a trap rather than a length death with giants watching them.
Do they know why they’re so hated? Could they become friends if we met them? Little baby mouse in Andy’s cupboard was cute maybe we should have given him a chance to be our pet. We could buy a cat but they’re evil too. Sneaking around and often jumping on your head and sneaky, sly and skinny. Best to have a dog but they’d probably any unwanted pedigree chum or every dog!
